Love Is Suffering

     Everything I do is potentially to feel good. Therefore, everything I do is selfish. I eat cause i'm hungry, I sleep cause I'm tired. Even if I serve someone else, I do it for the good feeling and self-satisfaction that comes from the act. No one can deny we feel good when we serve others. So what is it that takes us from the selfish realm into one that is unselfish?
     It is our capacity to feel pain for another person. Why? Because like a mother carries the burden of a child, only if we are willing to suffer with another person is it more than selfish.  To be a truly good person, I have to suffer. The Book of Mormon is full of examples of good people who suffer. Lehi suffers anguish of soul for the rebellion of his sons, as does Nephi for his brothers. Alma suffers through "much tribulation of spirit" on behalf of his people.  Mormon himself watches with anguish and cries out for his fallen people. That is because he loved them.
    This makes Jesus Christ the greatest example of love of all time, for he bore all our afflictions. This to serve us. He put us above his own personal feelings of spiritual and physical peace.

sidenote: this also shows that detachment can never be a part of Christianity. Once can dedicate himself to the work away from earthly cares, but to detach from family relationships like a monk is not Godlike. It conquer desire, but removes the greatest suffering, the family. Therefore, Buddhism is limited on its capacity to love. Buddha did not cry when his father or friends died, but Christ cried when his friend died.  Logically, like Buddha saw, "decay is inherent in all componet things", so why stress about the family? However, Buddha also knew that some suffering is necessary for growth. Through Jesus Christ we can achieve the peaceful unattachment of Buddhism while mainting the joyful relationship of the family.
      The modern world seems to avoid having children within the bonds of marriage. Perhaps because it seems to expensive, time consuming, basically too much stress..  But those who live it know, that the greatest suffering comes from kids, and becomes the greatest growth. We are limited in our capacity to carry a burden with someone, or it at least remains untested, until we have a family of our own.

Self-Mastery and My Dog

Sheldon is tied to a propane tank on the front lawn. I want to let him go free, because I know he'd feel better being released from his leash. But I can't let him, he'd run off and get himself hurt. He'd bark at the neighbors and be a nuisance. So I keep him in the front yard or locked in the house until he learns manners.
     Sheldon wants to run, and bark, maybe even play with other dogs. I can tell he's bored sitting there, but he's also learning a valuable lesson if he'll pay attention. Sometimes he's so calm, just thinking. About what, idk. But he is learning to enjoy the calm.
     I am like the dog, and God is my master. Sometimes oh how much I want to be free from bondage. I want a good job, oh how I want to bless my friends and be an example to them. I want health and the means to help others have health. I want wisdom to guide my family. So why does God keep me, as well as so many others, tied to a leash?
     I not only protect my dog when I keep him tied up, but I am being considerate of others. So God ties me up to protect me, to teach me the smell of the flowers, and to teach me how to be around people. I should not bark at them or bite them, but I should show them the same love I show my owner. Then I would be free from my leash, as long as I keep being obedient to my master.

     So what are the lessons I must learn to be released off my leash? I must learn respect of others. I must develop self control, else my master will not trust me. And once I have been properly trained and disciplined, then will the leash come off, and I find myself free to roam within the bounds my master sets, which is much better than a leash. I still have protection, but I get to see new places and love more people. Because I am trained, I get to wander here and there and enjoy myself, and then sprint in response to my master's call.
      That's life, and rages within whatever setting we find ourselves in. Perhaps a disability can feel like a leash, yet the resurrection will cut us loose. And then, if we have learned to obey our masters call, we will come into him and be saved. And this life is a symbol of that, for just as the Nephites or the children of Israel, God prospereth his people according to their righteousness. The younger we learn the commandments, the more blessed are we, for we will run with the wind and enjoy, more fully, time spent with our master.

A Good Person Doesn't Dwell on Her Own Goodness - Lao Tzu

A genuinely good person doesn't always have the best reasons or motivations to do good things. She doesn't find a have a reason to serve others, or listen, or to be interested in others success. It is simply a part of her nature, because she's naturally attracted to happiness.

How Can I be Selfless?

     Selfishness is buying a cake for yourself. Selflessness is buying a cake for yourself and another person. Genuinely caring about another person in all you do, even the small decisions, is the 180 degree difference that makes you selfless.

     Those who are interested in service act
          without motive.
     Those who are interested in righteousness
          act with motives of all sorts.

             - The Tao Te Ching of Lao Tzu #38                  

   
      How can I be unselfish while doing the things I love? Life should be lived as a Dad wants for his kids: to be talented, have new experiences, to establish a foundation for righteousness. Every choice is will translate to what you teach your kids. What new experiences have you had lately? Have you made any new friends today? Are you growing in talents? Live as you would have your child live, and you begin to live an unselfish adventure.

"Find Your Gift, Do Your Part" - The Holy Ghost

    Once towards the end of my mission, I felt full of patience and love. Companions had changed as the spirit worked through me, and I felt like a confident instrument of the Lord. Then I became a Zone Leader. In our domain was not only 12 missionaries, but also uplifting and advising church leader from 3 branches. My companion Elder Horton directed and guided, but the gift of administration just wasn't mine.

     The best leader is one whose existence
          is barely known.
     Next best is one who is loved and praised.
     Next is one who is feared. 
     Worst of all is a leader who is despised.
                                                    -Lao Te Ching of Lao Tzu #17

     I prefer being barely known. :)

         Anyways, in a meeting that I felt particularly lost, the still small voice whispered to me quite distinctly: find your gift, know your part.
      Since then, I've been able to enjoy the gifts of others more, and learned to focus on developing the talents I have. A jack of many trades is a master of none. It is excellence in a certain sphere that makes us more useful, and is part of our identity in this mortal journey as children of God.

   
*Update April 7, 2016
   
     Start by discovering what your talents are. Then all other talents will come as you build off those. The talents you posses right now may not be your passion, but passion comes as we serve those around us with our talents, rather than in the talent itself.
   
     Matt 25: 15
     And unto one he gave give talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey.

     The story goes that he with five talents doubled it to ten. He used the five he had to gain more, rather than starting from scratch. I want to learn guitar, but I am slow at learning. Through my writing skills and talents for presentations, I hope to provide money and time to develop my guitar talents. What are your talents? Which ones do you want to develop? Find your gift, do your part, and eventually you'll get that chance to improve at all of them.

When You're appreciated

     Most people see it as the Mom's job to wash the dishes, do the laundry, pack the children's lunch, clean and organize the house, and so forth. People simply expect it. Therefore she become highly underappreciated.
     Its like the cornerbacks in football, who are sometimes nicknamed "the unsung heroes". When they do their job, no one really notices. But when they mess up, TOUCHDOWN! and all eyes are on you. Like a Mom, cornerbacks can often be unnoticed and underappreciated for their important function.
   
   
     ....I don't have a way to fix this.
     I do have a self-empowering thought however.

If you are expected to excel, people are less inspired by you.
The power to influence people lies in doing good things that are not expected of you.

     As a brother in the family, I have found the power to improve household attitudes. For example, no one naturally expects me to spontaneously organize the kitchen or clean the dishes. For years I complacently saw these things as chores to avoid. Since returning from my mission two months ago, I've kept the habit of keeping organized and cleaning. Storage areas in my house are now wiped and organized, that for years earlier had been neglected. I've noticed a slow but real movement of the household: everyone is organizing ad cleaning out. Of course, I never said anything.
    As I clean the dishes, eat more healthy with a happy and knowledgeable attitude, and make the initiative to family activities and family time, the people around me notice and put it into practice. They already had good hearts, they only needed to see someone live the principle.

So Dads: change the diapers
Sisters: go play football with your bros
Brothers: go shopping with your sister

     You may or may not like it at first, but you'll find the world warm up to you. People will start fulfilling their responsibilities more. They will appreciate you doing things you don't like for them.